Bryan...

I really don't know what to say right now... Just feel so shocked and numb... Bryan Chiel Yee Hao, my high school friend whom I know since Form 1 left me... And it was a tragic hit-and-run accident...

LORD, why do you have to do this??? But again, who am I to question You, for You made him and me... I just hope that he served and glorified You with his 20 years of life...

Even though I'm not that close to him, but I can still remember his face vividly... Even though we didn't talk much after Form 1, but I still see him as a good friend because he was a good and smart man... Even though, I've never seen him since we left high school, I still remember him for who he was... Even though he is no longer here now, he dwells inside me now...

He was like a brother to me, his kindness, his size, his sportsmanship, his basketball talents, his intelligence, his charming smile, his bald hair, his manly voice, everything seems to be showing up in my head now...

I really want a time machine to go back to Form 1 and share the gospel with him in order to destroy the guilt that I have now!!! Why didn't I know the gospel earlier?! Though I'm not sure if he needed to hear it but that's all I can do and could've done...

Bryan, you have truly been a great friend who made a mark in our lives...

http://pressrepublican.com/0100_news/x74676263/Police-investigating-fatal-accident

I shall never forget today-the day when a good man whom I know of has left me...

LORD all I can hope for now is that you will have mercy on this kind soul even if he didn't know you...

Goodbye dear friend...

Christian and politics???

If you're a Christian and you have time to kill, just click the link below:

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2010/9/19/lifefocus/6880606&sec=lifefocus

Can Christian and politics work together or are they mutually exclusive or they depend on one another???

Tell me what do you think about it after that...hahaha!!!

Awesome holiday!!!

It's been a good holiday until now!!! So happy throughout these few days(since Friday), because I've learnt a lot about God!!! Went to Word Works on Isaiah on Friday and Saturday... I feel so joyful reading Isaiah now... Really need to admit that I was so lost when I first read Isaiah before the conference but it all makes more sense now...

Then, enjoyed Evangelistic Sunday though I really have no idea how to talk to RC... Thank God for pointing out my problem!!!

Went for Don Carson's conference at Tropicana on Monday and Tuesday... Understood the parable of Good Samaritan PROPERLY!!! I emphasized on the word 'properly' because there was this pastor that came to CF on 1 Friday and he misused that same text and it was heretical just by listening and reading the text even though I have to admit that I got the text wrong after reading it myself... The worst thing was, he ended by 'don't preach the gospel...' This shows how sad Malaysia is now, so much more work to do!!!

After understanding it properly, I had a great rebuke from the sermon... How often do we justify ourselves??? Thank God for the cross, people!!!

Lastly, just wanna quote John Newton which was mentioned by Carson: "I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am..."

LORD, please open up more eyes and ears to come to you!!!

Amazing Grace!!!

Finally, I get to meet my brothers and sisters!!! I feel so happy and sad at the same time... Sad because I can only meet them once a month... The sermon was on John 9... It's about a blind man being healed by Jesus and how he actually saw even though he was blind, but it was the Pharisees who were actually blinded even though they have visual abilities... This is how graceful and powerful God is in His salvation plan!!! FYI, I helped a blind man to cross the road while waiting for my ride to church, talk about God's timing... hahaha!!!

I just can't figure how can one live a life without Him... Even simple logic tells you that being attached too much on worldly possessions brings no good, otherwise people won't be killing each other or even themselves just because of their very own failure to achieve what they wanted... You, a folly, stop wasting your life on meaningless things!!! Your life in God's eye is much more than just a stupid Ph.D or thousands of shops that you have behind your name... He wants you to be a ruler of the world under HIM!!! A ruler!!! Not just a mere intellectual being or a business man, but a ruler!!!

And guess what... His salvation is a total free gift from Him... You don't and can't do anything to acquire it... How good is that???

So, do you see the truth??? Or are you just following blindly because your parents told you to do so, or just because it makes sense to you??? And if you see the truth, what kind of image of Jesus are you seeing??? Is it really the Jesus' version of Jesus or your own interpretation of Him???

If you're seeing Jesus based on your own interpretations, then you are no different from those religious people out there, for this is the very reason why religions were made in the 1st place, isn't it so???

It is glad to know that the whole church knows what I'm going through right now... And how impactful a minor action can make to the whole congregation, because by me attending the gathering, it is already very edifying and encouraging for them... aaaaaaaaahhhh... Thank God for using me to glorify Him in such a way, but I seriously don't want to go through this anymore... LORD, please help me get this done and over with!!!

LORD, please bless us all...

HELP...

Didn't make it to church AGAIN today!!! LORD, I really need your help to open up their eyes, not that I can go to church peacefully, but so that they will be saved!!! Please save my mom!!!

There's one thing that I really don't understand... My dad keep insulting and throwing questions at me about this matter, but I can keep quiet and not defend it... hmm...

No matter what happens... God will be glorified!!! Hallelujah!!!

Love...

I am very troubled recently... Thanks to my ungodly parents... Wonder what will happen this Sunday... Shall do my best and stand up for the gospel... LORD, please help me!!!

O God,

How great is your love,

That you sent your Son to be crucified...

What did we do to deserve such grace???

You could have just zapped us and send all of us away,

How I wish that could happen,

Though I won't want to dwell in hell,

But sometimes I just really don't know what to do anymore,

I've done my part, and it's all up to you now, LORD,

To have mercy upon them...

I pray that you will help me to open up more eyes and ears to see and hear you,

So that they will come to know how loving you are and not just merely by our own humanly definition of love...

I want to live under You, for there's no greater joy than this... Lord, please help me with this...

Perseverance...

I'm getting very sick of this stupid place already!!! Mainly because of my freaking parents!!! aaaaaahhh... He keeps thinking that whatever he knows is correct therefore he rejects Christianity because what he knows is not the whole picture(which he thinks it is)... aaaahhh... I just don't know how long can I hold this within me...

My sinful heart has always been saying 'shut up and stop talking, just die and go to hell, then you'll know what's right and wrong'... So I really thank God for the cross otherwise I'll be heading to the same place as he is... ahhhhh...

Here are the naive and vulnerable points that he brought out:

-Christianity was formed because Jesus and His disciples did stuff on their own so whatever happened, happened within themselves

-Then the scriptures were written by the 12 apostles

-Then he just asked Him 2 rise again....

-All other religions are documented as well

-History has never recorded buddhism fighting against each other but Christians fought before...

-The usual arguement of if Jesus is God why didnt he come down from the cross...

I processed all the answers in my brain as soon as he finished his 'smart' questions, but I just kept quiet, maybe it was because of my sinful nature of not wanting to share to him, or maybe I just know that he wasn't expecting answers instead he was trying to disprove the truth...

Lord please guide me!!! Thank you...