Reformation Sunday...

Ahhhhhhhhh!!! LORD, please help Malaysia... Lol, Jesus has already saved us from God's wrath and what greater help am I still asking for...so stupid...

Just spent 20 minutes listening to a 'sermon'... It was more of a counselling session I would say... I wasted some time reading Phillipians 3 while waiting for the video of that 'sermon' to load... Guess what, the 'pastor' or rather counsellor, didn't even use his bible... That's why I said I wasted my time reading the text...

The whole session was pressing on 'believe', which he didn't mention believe in what... Though he did mention once that believe in God that He has greater dreams for you, so forget your past... I didn't even hear anything about Jesus... And he keeps on mentioning God for no reason...

He even mentioned that God asked him whether he wants his church to be planted in Europe... 2 things struck my mind: 1) How did God talk to you about this??? 2) You are so not glorifying Him and why would He want you to plant more churches that doesn't glorify Him at all, might as well just breed more Dawkins, enlightened people or something else than so called 'Christians' that you are rearing...

I just can't help but wonder how many TRUE Christians are there right now... The fact that I have to use the word 'true' shows you how pathetic the situation is...

The irony here is that 'Christians' are intimidated by the bible and don't even want to touch it be it idleness or whatsoever, and when some places don't use the bible at all, they love it... So much for the Reformation guys... You guys just made Reformation look so stupid right now... And I'm ranting all this on a Reformation Sunday!!!

Shall quote some stuff from Martin Luther:

Some pastors and preachers are lazy and no good. They do not pray; they do not read; they do not search the Scripture ... The call is: watch, study attend to reading. In truth you cannot read too much in Scripture; and what you read you cannot read too carefully, and what you read carefully you cannot understand too well, and what you understand well you cannot teach too well, and what you teach well you cannot live too well ... The devil ... the world ... and our flesh are raging and raving against us. Therefore, dear sirs and brothers, pastors and preachers, pray, read, study, be diligent ... This evil. shameful time is not the season for being lazy, for sleeping and snoring.

Prayer is the echo of the freedom and sufficiency of God in the heart of powerless man. It is the way he conceived of his theology and the way he pursued his studies. And it is the way he died.

At 3:00 a.m. on February 18, 1546, Luther died. His last recorded words were, "Wir sein Bettler. Hoc est verum." "We are beggars. This is true" (see note 72). God is free—utterly free—in his grace. And we are beggars—pray-ers. That is how we live, and that is how we study, so that God gets the glory and we get the grace.

LORD, please have mercy on these lost souls...

Depression and Love...

I'm utterly depressed now... Not sure if I'm turning into a hyper-Calvinist or not but who cares... Jesus is LORD and I'm trying to be biblical... The following will be a few reasons of why I'm depressed at this moment...

1. There's a place that I should be but I can't go... I need to be edified and must edify my brothers and sisters but I can't... More importantly, my dear brother will be marrying my sister(FYI, this is not an incest relationship, it's just brother and sister in Christ) And guess what, I can't be there, instead I have to attend my relative's open house... It just doesn't feel right... If I were to go out on Sundays, there's only 1 place that I will definitely go to...

2. My perspective on life has changed... In the dinner that I just attended, I feel so weird and alienated... Because it just kills me to know that a high possibility that most of the crowd there are going to hell(don't mean to judge though, but yeah)... And I just don't know how to communicate with them anymore... I think I've lost that worldly conversation touch(hope not)...

3. The necessity for the dinner just now was to let us see the new house that my cousin bought... It costs RM 2.2 million!!! The house is big but I just feel that it's too cramped because they make use of most of the spaces... But that's not the point, the point is how I wish that all that money can be channeled to CERC!!! argh... Just so sad... In addition, it doesn't matter how wealthy you are and how much 'make-up' you use to beautify your life... In the end, you can never deny the fact that you have rebelled against God and He has revealed himself through Jesus and you have rejected all these for a wasted life... I'd rather live on tightrope with a Godly wife and a few cute, adorable and Godly children and still surrender myself to Jesus than to waste my life in beautifying something that will be exposed on Judgment Day...

On a side note, what do you think the word L-O-V-E means??? Is it merely a display of affection towards someone or something i.e. i love you, i love that shirt... Or is there something bigger??? Think that I'm just being Christian??? Well, even the phrase 'Jesus loves you' means nothing at this era, take that!!! So then, what is love??? These four letters has been abused in a super twisted way that it just doesn't much anymore... Anyone can say to you that he/she loves you, but you will never know their sincerity, motives and their interpretation of love...

For me, I really cannot understand that word now... The biblical love is where God sends His own Son, the Man Jesus Christ to be crucified for people that so not deserve it to the point where all they have is judgment on them... This is where the complicated stuffs come in, why did He send His own Son to die for us??? Because of His love is the answer, but then I cannot comprehend it... Simply because its just too big even for a man with a minimal level of sinfulness to understand it more over for an evil man like me... It's because we're so sinful that we often blind ourselves of seeing the truth and then we make ourselves follies... This love or whatever you want to call it is just too big, so awesome and such an amazing grace that I can't use my very own words to describe it even though I can feel it... I shall categorize this under IWoG(Infinite Wisdom of God)...

This whole love question struck me just now when I was lining up for a bowl of ais kacang in the dinner... The queue was pretty long and the man was drilling and making ais kacang non-stop... But guess what, I never hear a word of appreciation for that poor man... So what you would say, we paid him to work, we're just getting what we deserve... But do you really think you deserve to be served instead of serving someone???

LORD, please have mercy on these people that they may come to know You someday... And thank you for your LOVE of saving foolish and sinful people who just can't comprehend this great thing that you gave us...

Memorial, Frustration, Salvation...

I'm starting to wonder if my parents are really humans afterall... I went for my friend's memorial yesterday night... And the venue was my high school... As Joe said, we've never been there for quite some time and this time that we're here it's for a sad reason... How shocking... I couldn't even recall the way to get to my school... Well, reminiscing memories aside...

The memorial was good... A lot of people attended including a few teachers... Personally, I kinda liked Mrs Meagan Lim's speech... She said that during Form 3, she gave Bryan lots of work to do as he was the class monitor... And now Bryan has given her the toughest homework she has which is to give an eulogy speech... Initially, she refused to do it because she knows that she will cry and won't be able to finish it, but in the end, she gave the speech because she wanted to complete the task that Bryan gave... It was so touching!!!

And it's just amazing to see how a simple action can bring so many people to remember a great man... Put this into Jesus' death and resurrection you'll start wondering why people deny it... How can someone accept historical facts from ancient Chinese history to Liverpool FC being sold and reject the one and only historical document that will bring unbearable consequences- the Bible!!!

Well, this morning when I woke up, my parents asked me how was yesterday... I told them about it then they started asking me about his results and his performances which I don't really know, then my dad started yelling... Just because I seem to be normal doesn't mean I don't need to be consoled, and if you don't want to console me then fine but not yelling at me!!! More over, yelling at me just because I didn't find out about his results??? WTH is wrong with you?! A man died and you're asking about his results?! Mind you, I had problems talking to his parents yesterday night and how am I supposed to ask about other stuffs?! It's just so absurd!!!

While I living on with my day, I think I finally understood why religions that promote salvation based on works are so sellable!!! Even for me, I really wanted it to happen so that I can bring my friend back to life again... But then, come to think of it, do you really think you can do ALL the works and save a life?!

In Luke 10, a lawyer asked Jesus what can he DO to INHERIT eternal life... The question itself is already contradicting... If you're gonna inherit something, you definitely don't and can't do anything!!! But Jesus didn't shoot him down, Jesus asked him about the law since he was a lawyer... The lawyer stated the 1st commandment and loving neighbour... Jesus asked him to GO, AND DO LIKEWISE... Obviously, Jesus knows the inconsistency in the lawyer's question, but he gave this reply, to ask him do it... So, is Jesus saying that you can do something to inherit eternal life??? NO!!! It was actually a challenge to the lawyer because Jesus knows that he can't do it... Man, the 1st commandment- Deut 6:5 Love the Lord your God with ALL your Might and ALL your Soul and ALL your Heart... Notice the word ALL??? If you think that Christianity is just another moralistic religion, I challenge you to GO and DO all the ten commandments!!!

So if you were to save yourself based on works, I'd reckon you to just kill yourself and not even try it because within 1 minute, you'll be exhausted and frustrated at the same time!!!

Again, thank God for the Cross and knowing how incapable we are of saving ourselves...

God bless all of you...

Are we so dull...

Are we so dull??? How often have missed the plot of something which is bigger than what it seems to be??? How often that we do things for the sake of doing and had no means of doing it(which questions the reason for doing it)??? See, when you don't even know why you're doing what you're doing then there's no point of doing it, because you have just lost the purpose of executing your actions to do it...

In John 6, the Jews were looking for Jesus because they wanted more bread which in the previous verses He provided them... Jesus was trying to show them something but all they saw was the miracle and by them seeking Jesus just for the bread totally makes it clearer of how foolish they were... And then it goes on with Jesus telling them He is the bread of life since they wanted the bread so badly... But in the end after Jesus explaining everything, all that they can understand was the last sentence or maybe the last part of 1 whole big chunk of text... It's just like watching a movie with the only the starting and ending...(though some movies are pretty predictable, but hope you get my point) If you watch a movie like that, might as well you just watch the trailer because most probably the trailer already has all the movie has to show...

So my point is, how often do you question your actions??? But before that, let me throw you a challenge, what's your purpose of having life on earth??? This is the BIGGEST question you should answer!!! Seek the truth and it shall set you free(from sin)...

May the LORD help you to come to a point of realization...

Reasons for me to study...

I found the reasons for me to study already!!!

1. So that my parents cannot find fault in me

2. So that I can go to church peacefully

3. So that I can continue to do campus ministry next year and hopefully the following year as well

4. reasons 1,2,3 = ALL FOR THE GLORY OF GOD!!!

Please remind me of these reasons if you see me slacking, thank you!!!

God bless...

Contentment and Total Depravity...

What does it take to satisfy someone or maybe yourself??? Is it being the top student??? Is it being the top dog in your job??? Is it having a whole bunch of titles added before your name??? Is it having a wife with a few kids and a happy family??? Is it having all the money in the world and relax in your bungalow??? Is it knowing that you have eternal life in heaven??? Or is it knowing that Jesus died for your sins???

The truth is neither of these can satisfy one's self... Well, you might deny it, but as a fellow sinner, I can tell you there shall never be a limit in what we want!!! Maybe it's due to our imagination that triggered all these cravings... Still want to deny??? Take Adam for example, pre-Fall, he was the perfect man, he even lived under God's rule and had everything, the whole world in fact... But, as you know, he ate the fruit... He was trying to seek knowledge outside of God because the snake told him that he will have the knowledge of good and evil if he eats it...

Post-Fall, I feel that we don't even deserve anything!!! We are so sinful that we can't even be a moralistic person, how do you think you will even fare in God's standard??? You don't think that we're all immoral??? Try this, how often have you said thank you??? I bet you say it almost after every few sentences, but what I'm trying to ask you is in so numerous times of saying thank you, how many of it were just to be polite and how many of it really stem from a thankful heart??? Get what I mean now??? Still not satisfied of my claims???

Try this one, whenever you manage to help someone, after helping him/her, they'll thank you(not sure if they really meant it or not though), few days later you bump into that person again, but he/she JUST says hi or might not even bother to look at you... What comes to your mind??? Wished that you never helped them??? This is all because we do things with an expectancy whether it may be big or small... My point is, in whatever we do, we already have a motive for doing it - which is to want something back... Now, tell me on what account can you still say you're a good person now...

We're all so sinful that we can't even live to our own standards, how can you say that you're not a sinner before God?! Because of our extremely sinful nature, we don't even deserve to breath the next breathe... Just imagine you're already drowning in the deep blue sea with sharks, struggling to gasp for air, but you're still thinking of which shirt you'll be wearing tomorrow... Absurd??? But this is the true reality of our sinful nature...

Henceforth, the five points of Calvinism- TULIP, fits in nicely...

God bless...