Speechless...

I feel very sad today... Not because of exams which is in less than 2 weeks time but because of my conversations with my mom... I've been trying really hard to show her what Christianity really means since don't know when and yes it might be because I never rely and trust in God that He will work in her, but I just don't know what more to say...

Every time she will bring back the same arguments and it just makes me wonder whether she really got and thought about what we talked the previous time... The gospel is just so clear and logical despite the IWoG, that I don't know how to add on to what I had just said anymore...

If only my tears can win unrepentant hearts for You, I'd go blind daily... I really wish that this could happen... Oh well, God is sovereign...

And I seriously have no idea how the heck can someone live without God... Yes, you might feel good when you sin after all who would like to be controlled by someone else, but in knowing God, there's a greater joy than everything else, and best of all you actually have nothing to lose... By sinning, you lose everything... You lose your true identity and purpose of being on Earth...

This Advent season is just really driving me crazy in a good theological way that I just keep thanking God for His IWoG of sending His own Son- The Man Jesus Christ to die for our sins...

Food for thought: Did God send His own Son to the cross just to cleanse our sinful flesh??? This sounds so man-centered, or is there a bigger picture to it???

After pondering over this, I hope that you will view the cross in a different way... That's what I learnt from John and Isaiah thus far...

Working FOR YOUR Salvation

Most people will think that this is possible without knowing that they're saying that in their hearts... Let me just clarify 1 simple term, SALVATION... Well, salvation basically means the act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss,destruction(from dictionary.com)... Ok, let's be frank on this, where do you this can happen to you??? There's definitely ain't no place like this on Planet Earth!!! So, this place should be heaven right??? I'm not equating salvation to heaven but this is just to simplify things and I bet most of you are definitely thinking in that...

Now, IF you want to work for salvation or to get into heaven, how can you do it??? Well, the answer you can think of is probably by doing good works which is correct... BUT, here comes the problem, what kind of works are good and what the heck is GOOD?! Let me assume that all of us have a common understanding that good things are to obey the law and stuff, but how do you fit heaven into this picture... Here's a simple example of what I'm hitting on, just imagine that you're applying to get a job, all of your preparations and interviews has to be done to secure your place of getting that job right??? So you can see that in order to get a job, all the procedures that has to be done are all job-related, logical la...

I hope that in your mind at least the concept of heaven you must have is that there's God's presence... So, based on the example above, in order to get into heaven a.k.a the place where God is, what kind of work do you think you CAN DO to get there??? God-related works la!!!

I bet most of you out there don't even know who God is in the 1st place, so why do you even bother to do what you're doing now??? Because it ain't getting you to heaven which means you're definitely going SOMEWHERE(I think you know where it is)...

I'm not saying that once you know God, you can start working your way to heaven... I know this sounds contradicting but just try to grasp what I'm saying... You can't work your way to heaven just by knowing God because you just DON'T WANT to listen to Him moreover TO WORK FOR HIM!!! For goodness sake, we can't even understand God properly, how can we know what He wants us to do... That is why Jesus came to Earth!!! To reveal who God is, what He wants us to do, and to give life a.k.a. heaven and bring judgment a.k.a. hell... Thankfully, we DON'T HAVE TO WORK for our SALVATION, otherwise we'd be doomed to destruction before we even try to find out who God is...

You might know say that by knowing Jesus and doing all that He said can get you into heaven a.k.a legalism, BUT then you're just missing the whole point of Jesus dying on the cross for your idiotic sins!!! He came to show us what we're supposed to do which is to glorify God and how we have always failed to do so... Then the consequence of accepting or rejecting this truth falls in... AND NEVER THE OTHER WAY ROUND!!! By believing in Jesus to get you to heaven, you're no different from those who believe in Jesus' signs... Because the importance of the signs are not the actions but the arrow that the signs are pointing to which is Jesus is The Christ, The Son Of God!!!

And we are to live like Jesus because this is how it should be... We, creations should glorify our Creator in every single aspect of our life!!! In heaven, we will be worshipping God, so we should also live life on Earth like heaven in a sense that we should keep honoring God for who He is and not to want to get to heaven because you'll be missing the point!!!

May God help you seek Truth...

Feeling Isaiah 6!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like Isaiah in chapter 6 right now!!! I was relying on my own bloody sinful strength to evangelize!!! What the heck was I even thinking?! A mere man who can't even understand God properly and uses his own limited knowledge to evangelize and relies on it?!

So thankful that I was able to see where I went wrong... Yet again, thankful for the grace that was given to me...

May God be glorified...

Free lunch...

There's no free lunch in this world!!! Sounds familiar??? I'm sure you have heard this a dozen of times... Come to think of it, how true is this statement??? Through our logical and experiential-based mind, this is a proper and 100000000000% correct statement... By FREE I mean totally not expecting anything in return, therefore it's called free, and LUNCH meaning any substance or whatever that can be offered by someone to you... Try taking a step back and think of the following situations... I'm definitely not saying that they're illogical though...

On your birthdays thus far, I bet you've accumulated tons of gifts, but have you ever asked those who gave you the presents, how much was it??? You might say that they might ask favors from you in the future... Based on the amount of presents they gave you till this age, do you think there's any favor in the world that can repay back their sincerity??? You might want to question their sincerity, but if they weren't sincere in the 1st place, they wouldn't have endured such 'great pain' in putting up masks just to please you for years in order to ask for your help... There you go, evidence of 'free lunch'...

Have you ever wondered why were you delivered into this world??? Why would a woman knowing that she will bear the most unbearable pain in this entire God-made-universe to give birth to a tiny little 'demon' like us??? Especially it has to last through 9 months of suffering and cautiousness in taking care of her own body to sustain this puny life of ours... Let's say in some miraculous way, the baby that just came out of the womb can talk instantly, do you expect that little thing to ask the woman how much was it??? NEVER!!! Now is this 'free lunch'??? Just an add on to this undefeatable case of 'free lunch', that woman would give in everything to protect that small and precious thing of hers even it takes up her life...

Are the above examples categorized as 'free lunch'??? Yes... That's because they are so priceless that you just can't measure it... Are they the most logical and rational thing to do??? This you should think about it yourself...

Now, there's even something greater than all these... The best 'free lunch' in the world or rather amazing grace(grace means unmerited GIFT, which I don't think it is sufficient to describe this) is God's love!!! Do you know why??? Let me tell you... God the Creator who made everything, sees us as rulers of the world... But we, sinful depraved Satan follower human beings, just like to be our own gods with our own lives... We just like to do things our own way because we like to control, I mean who doesn't want to??? My destiny is in my hands right??? And that is how we failed to live up to God's standard and we might not even tried to live it... Some of us might say that we believe in the EXISTENCE of God, but then do you really mean it??? Do you even know who He is??? If not, then do you still say you believe in Him??? Or are you just making up your very own image of god to suit your bloody needs???

In seeing what kind of deep shit we are in, there was a Man that came to solve this problem of the fallen world... And He was sent by God the Father HIMSELF... We totally had nothing to do with it in a sense that we never wanted Him to come anyways... This Man is Jesus!!! He solved our foolishness by dying in our place on the cross... And He never asked anything from us, other than following Him, so that we too, can have fellowship with Him... Be remembered that, it was God the Father Himself who sent Jesus even though we never wanted Him and continued to rebel against God... That's the supremacy of God's love!!! The ULTIMATE FREE LUNCH!!! Again, if we were to try to repay it, then we're just missing the point!!! Well, even now, this truth has been preached to so many people, but some of them are still rejecting and suppressing the truth... It just shows you how much we really don't want God in our lives and we just want to take charge of our so called destiny... Try imagining those days before Jesus came... What state was it then... I don't think there's any difference though...

Just to clarify, submitting and living your life for Jesus is NOT a way of repaying God's grace... Instead it is the most natural reflex action that we can give... It's like you've been living in a sick and filthy place for your whole life, suddenly someone asks you to follow him for a better life, what more can you do other than to work for him???

Christmas is coming up... The day when Jesus The Christ was born... So what are you going to do about this 'free lunch'???

May God soften your heart to let you in to His Kingdom...

Rebuke me please!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!!! I HAVE NO BLOODY MOOD TO STUDY!!! Please rebuke me!!! Thinking bout ministry and Christmas just makes me feel high and it makes me fly so high up to heaven that I just don't feel like coming back to this sinful place anymore!!! hahaha...

This is how joyful it is to work for God though not denying that studying is also a form of service to God... But I'm just so excited about all these stuffs...

LORD, I seriously need Your help to make me study!!!

Fun week...

The past week has been good, even though I don't really like staying in KKB... The coolest thing was I stayed at 4 different places!!! Stayed at KKB, Elden's house, pastor's house and Albert's house!!!

Friday night after posting, went straight to KTM with a few of them to go to Elden's house and played at CC till 2.30am... After that had a talk with Elden till 4.30am... The next day, went for TGG then stayed over at Robin Gan's place and talked till 2am...hahaha!!! so fun!!! Then on Sunday, after sermon, went to Seremban to Albert's house so that Iyngaran can fetch us to KKB on Monday morning...

Sunday's sermon was on Isaiah 1... ISAIAH!!! Even having read it during word works, but it still scares the hell out of me when you see how God judges people and how God uses people and then judging them again... Basically, unless you rely and put your trust in God, otherwise you're just waiting to be thrown away from Him...

Reformation Sunday...

Ahhhhhhhhh!!! LORD, please help Malaysia... Lol, Jesus has already saved us from God's wrath and what greater help am I still asking for...so stupid...

Just spent 20 minutes listening to a 'sermon'... It was more of a counselling session I would say... I wasted some time reading Phillipians 3 while waiting for the video of that 'sermon' to load... Guess what, the 'pastor' or rather counsellor, didn't even use his bible... That's why I said I wasted my time reading the text...

The whole session was pressing on 'believe', which he didn't mention believe in what... Though he did mention once that believe in God that He has greater dreams for you, so forget your past... I didn't even hear anything about Jesus... And he keeps on mentioning God for no reason...

He even mentioned that God asked him whether he wants his church to be planted in Europe... 2 things struck my mind: 1) How did God talk to you about this??? 2) You are so not glorifying Him and why would He want you to plant more churches that doesn't glorify Him at all, might as well just breed more Dawkins, enlightened people or something else than so called 'Christians' that you are rearing...

I just can't help but wonder how many TRUE Christians are there right now... The fact that I have to use the word 'true' shows you how pathetic the situation is...

The irony here is that 'Christians' are intimidated by the bible and don't even want to touch it be it idleness or whatsoever, and when some places don't use the bible at all, they love it... So much for the Reformation guys... You guys just made Reformation look so stupid right now... And I'm ranting all this on a Reformation Sunday!!!

Shall quote some stuff from Martin Luther:

Some pastors and preachers are lazy and no good. They do not pray; they do not read; they do not search the Scripture ... The call is: watch, study attend to reading. In truth you cannot read too much in Scripture; and what you read you cannot read too carefully, and what you read carefully you cannot understand too well, and what you understand well you cannot teach too well, and what you teach well you cannot live too well ... The devil ... the world ... and our flesh are raging and raving against us. Therefore, dear sirs and brothers, pastors and preachers, pray, read, study, be diligent ... This evil. shameful time is not the season for being lazy, for sleeping and snoring.

Prayer is the echo of the freedom and sufficiency of God in the heart of powerless man. It is the way he conceived of his theology and the way he pursued his studies. And it is the way he died.

At 3:00 a.m. on February 18, 1546, Luther died. His last recorded words were, "Wir sein Bettler. Hoc est verum." "We are beggars. This is true" (see note 72). God is free—utterly free—in his grace. And we are beggars—pray-ers. That is how we live, and that is how we study, so that God gets the glory and we get the grace.

LORD, please have mercy on these lost souls...

Depression and Love...

I'm utterly depressed now... Not sure if I'm turning into a hyper-Calvinist or not but who cares... Jesus is LORD and I'm trying to be biblical... The following will be a few reasons of why I'm depressed at this moment...

1. There's a place that I should be but I can't go... I need to be edified and must edify my brothers and sisters but I can't... More importantly, my dear brother will be marrying my sister(FYI, this is not an incest relationship, it's just brother and sister in Christ) And guess what, I can't be there, instead I have to attend my relative's open house... It just doesn't feel right... If I were to go out on Sundays, there's only 1 place that I will definitely go to...

2. My perspective on life has changed... In the dinner that I just attended, I feel so weird and alienated... Because it just kills me to know that a high possibility that most of the crowd there are going to hell(don't mean to judge though, but yeah)... And I just don't know how to communicate with them anymore... I think I've lost that worldly conversation touch(hope not)...

3. The necessity for the dinner just now was to let us see the new house that my cousin bought... It costs RM 2.2 million!!! The house is big but I just feel that it's too cramped because they make use of most of the spaces... But that's not the point, the point is how I wish that all that money can be channeled to CERC!!! argh... Just so sad... In addition, it doesn't matter how wealthy you are and how much 'make-up' you use to beautify your life... In the end, you can never deny the fact that you have rebelled against God and He has revealed himself through Jesus and you have rejected all these for a wasted life... I'd rather live on tightrope with a Godly wife and a few cute, adorable and Godly children and still surrender myself to Jesus than to waste my life in beautifying something that will be exposed on Judgment Day...

On a side note, what do you think the word L-O-V-E means??? Is it merely a display of affection towards someone or something i.e. i love you, i love that shirt... Or is there something bigger??? Think that I'm just being Christian??? Well, even the phrase 'Jesus loves you' means nothing at this era, take that!!! So then, what is love??? These four letters has been abused in a super twisted way that it just doesn't much anymore... Anyone can say to you that he/she loves you, but you will never know their sincerity, motives and their interpretation of love...

For me, I really cannot understand that word now... The biblical love is where God sends His own Son, the Man Jesus Christ to be crucified for people that so not deserve it to the point where all they have is judgment on them... This is where the complicated stuffs come in, why did He send His own Son to die for us??? Because of His love is the answer, but then I cannot comprehend it... Simply because its just too big even for a man with a minimal level of sinfulness to understand it more over for an evil man like me... It's because we're so sinful that we often blind ourselves of seeing the truth and then we make ourselves follies... This love or whatever you want to call it is just too big, so awesome and such an amazing grace that I can't use my very own words to describe it even though I can feel it... I shall categorize this under IWoG(Infinite Wisdom of God)...

This whole love question struck me just now when I was lining up for a bowl of ais kacang in the dinner... The queue was pretty long and the man was drilling and making ais kacang non-stop... But guess what, I never hear a word of appreciation for that poor man... So what you would say, we paid him to work, we're just getting what we deserve... But do you really think you deserve to be served instead of serving someone???

LORD, please have mercy on these people that they may come to know You someday... And thank you for your LOVE of saving foolish and sinful people who just can't comprehend this great thing that you gave us...

Memorial, Frustration, Salvation...

I'm starting to wonder if my parents are really humans afterall... I went for my friend's memorial yesterday night... And the venue was my high school... As Joe said, we've never been there for quite some time and this time that we're here it's for a sad reason... How shocking... I couldn't even recall the way to get to my school... Well, reminiscing memories aside...

The memorial was good... A lot of people attended including a few teachers... Personally, I kinda liked Mrs Meagan Lim's speech... She said that during Form 3, she gave Bryan lots of work to do as he was the class monitor... And now Bryan has given her the toughest homework she has which is to give an eulogy speech... Initially, she refused to do it because she knows that she will cry and won't be able to finish it, but in the end, she gave the speech because she wanted to complete the task that Bryan gave... It was so touching!!!

And it's just amazing to see how a simple action can bring so many people to remember a great man... Put this into Jesus' death and resurrection you'll start wondering why people deny it... How can someone accept historical facts from ancient Chinese history to Liverpool FC being sold and reject the one and only historical document that will bring unbearable consequences- the Bible!!!

Well, this morning when I woke up, my parents asked me how was yesterday... I told them about it then they started asking me about his results and his performances which I don't really know, then my dad started yelling... Just because I seem to be normal doesn't mean I don't need to be consoled, and if you don't want to console me then fine but not yelling at me!!! More over, yelling at me just because I didn't find out about his results??? WTH is wrong with you?! A man died and you're asking about his results?! Mind you, I had problems talking to his parents yesterday night and how am I supposed to ask about other stuffs?! It's just so absurd!!!

While I living on with my day, I think I finally understood why religions that promote salvation based on works are so sellable!!! Even for me, I really wanted it to happen so that I can bring my friend back to life again... But then, come to think of it, do you really think you can do ALL the works and save a life?!

In Luke 10, a lawyer asked Jesus what can he DO to INHERIT eternal life... The question itself is already contradicting... If you're gonna inherit something, you definitely don't and can't do anything!!! But Jesus didn't shoot him down, Jesus asked him about the law since he was a lawyer... The lawyer stated the 1st commandment and loving neighbour... Jesus asked him to GO, AND DO LIKEWISE... Obviously, Jesus knows the inconsistency in the lawyer's question, but he gave this reply, to ask him do it... So, is Jesus saying that you can do something to inherit eternal life??? NO!!! It was actually a challenge to the lawyer because Jesus knows that he can't do it... Man, the 1st commandment- Deut 6:5 Love the Lord your God with ALL your Might and ALL your Soul and ALL your Heart... Notice the word ALL??? If you think that Christianity is just another moralistic religion, I challenge you to GO and DO all the ten commandments!!!

So if you were to save yourself based on works, I'd reckon you to just kill yourself and not even try it because within 1 minute, you'll be exhausted and frustrated at the same time!!!

Again, thank God for the Cross and knowing how incapable we are of saving ourselves...

God bless all of you...

Are we so dull...

Are we so dull??? How often have missed the plot of something which is bigger than what it seems to be??? How often that we do things for the sake of doing and had no means of doing it(which questions the reason for doing it)??? See, when you don't even know why you're doing what you're doing then there's no point of doing it, because you have just lost the purpose of executing your actions to do it...

In John 6, the Jews were looking for Jesus because they wanted more bread which in the previous verses He provided them... Jesus was trying to show them something but all they saw was the miracle and by them seeking Jesus just for the bread totally makes it clearer of how foolish they were... And then it goes on with Jesus telling them He is the bread of life since they wanted the bread so badly... But in the end after Jesus explaining everything, all that they can understand was the last sentence or maybe the last part of 1 whole big chunk of text... It's just like watching a movie with the only the starting and ending...(though some movies are pretty predictable, but hope you get my point) If you watch a movie like that, might as well you just watch the trailer because most probably the trailer already has all the movie has to show...

So my point is, how often do you question your actions??? But before that, let me throw you a challenge, what's your purpose of having life on earth??? This is the BIGGEST question you should answer!!! Seek the truth and it shall set you free(from sin)...

May the LORD help you to come to a point of realization...

Reasons for me to study...

I found the reasons for me to study already!!!

1. So that my parents cannot find fault in me

2. So that I can go to church peacefully

3. So that I can continue to do campus ministry next year and hopefully the following year as well

4. reasons 1,2,3 = ALL FOR THE GLORY OF GOD!!!

Please remind me of these reasons if you see me slacking, thank you!!!

God bless...

Contentment and Total Depravity...

What does it take to satisfy someone or maybe yourself??? Is it being the top student??? Is it being the top dog in your job??? Is it having a whole bunch of titles added before your name??? Is it having a wife with a few kids and a happy family??? Is it having all the money in the world and relax in your bungalow??? Is it knowing that you have eternal life in heaven??? Or is it knowing that Jesus died for your sins???

The truth is neither of these can satisfy one's self... Well, you might deny it, but as a fellow sinner, I can tell you there shall never be a limit in what we want!!! Maybe it's due to our imagination that triggered all these cravings... Still want to deny??? Take Adam for example, pre-Fall, he was the perfect man, he even lived under God's rule and had everything, the whole world in fact... But, as you know, he ate the fruit... He was trying to seek knowledge outside of God because the snake told him that he will have the knowledge of good and evil if he eats it...

Post-Fall, I feel that we don't even deserve anything!!! We are so sinful that we can't even be a moralistic person, how do you think you will even fare in God's standard??? You don't think that we're all immoral??? Try this, how often have you said thank you??? I bet you say it almost after every few sentences, but what I'm trying to ask you is in so numerous times of saying thank you, how many of it were just to be polite and how many of it really stem from a thankful heart??? Get what I mean now??? Still not satisfied of my claims???

Try this one, whenever you manage to help someone, after helping him/her, they'll thank you(not sure if they really meant it or not though), few days later you bump into that person again, but he/she JUST says hi or might not even bother to look at you... What comes to your mind??? Wished that you never helped them??? This is all because we do things with an expectancy whether it may be big or small... My point is, in whatever we do, we already have a motive for doing it - which is to want something back... Now, tell me on what account can you still say you're a good person now...

We're all so sinful that we can't even live to our own standards, how can you say that you're not a sinner before God?! Because of our extremely sinful nature, we don't even deserve to breath the next breathe... Just imagine you're already drowning in the deep blue sea with sharks, struggling to gasp for air, but you're still thinking of which shirt you'll be wearing tomorrow... Absurd??? But this is the true reality of our sinful nature...

Henceforth, the five points of Calvinism- TULIP, fits in nicely...

God bless...

Bryan...

I really don't know what to say right now... Just feel so shocked and numb... Bryan Chiel Yee Hao, my high school friend whom I know since Form 1 left me... And it was a tragic hit-and-run accident...

LORD, why do you have to do this??? But again, who am I to question You, for You made him and me... I just hope that he served and glorified You with his 20 years of life...

Even though I'm not that close to him, but I can still remember his face vividly... Even though we didn't talk much after Form 1, but I still see him as a good friend because he was a good and smart man... Even though, I've never seen him since we left high school, I still remember him for who he was... Even though he is no longer here now, he dwells inside me now...

He was like a brother to me, his kindness, his size, his sportsmanship, his basketball talents, his intelligence, his charming smile, his bald hair, his manly voice, everything seems to be showing up in my head now...

I really want a time machine to go back to Form 1 and share the gospel with him in order to destroy the guilt that I have now!!! Why didn't I know the gospel earlier?! Though I'm not sure if he needed to hear it but that's all I can do and could've done...

Bryan, you have truly been a great friend who made a mark in our lives...

http://pressrepublican.com/0100_news/x74676263/Police-investigating-fatal-accident

I shall never forget today-the day when a good man whom I know of has left me...

LORD all I can hope for now is that you will have mercy on this kind soul even if he didn't know you...

Goodbye dear friend...

Christian and politics???

If you're a Christian and you have time to kill, just click the link below:

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2010/9/19/lifefocus/6880606&sec=lifefocus

Can Christian and politics work together or are they mutually exclusive or they depend on one another???

Tell me what do you think about it after that...hahaha!!!

Awesome holiday!!!

It's been a good holiday until now!!! So happy throughout these few days(since Friday), because I've learnt a lot about God!!! Went to Word Works on Isaiah on Friday and Saturday... I feel so joyful reading Isaiah now... Really need to admit that I was so lost when I first read Isaiah before the conference but it all makes more sense now...

Then, enjoyed Evangelistic Sunday though I really have no idea how to talk to RC... Thank God for pointing out my problem!!!

Went for Don Carson's conference at Tropicana on Monday and Tuesday... Understood the parable of Good Samaritan PROPERLY!!! I emphasized on the word 'properly' because there was this pastor that came to CF on 1 Friday and he misused that same text and it was heretical just by listening and reading the text even though I have to admit that I got the text wrong after reading it myself... The worst thing was, he ended by 'don't preach the gospel...' This shows how sad Malaysia is now, so much more work to do!!!

After understanding it properly, I had a great rebuke from the sermon... How often do we justify ourselves??? Thank God for the cross, people!!!

Lastly, just wanna quote John Newton which was mentioned by Carson: "I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am..."

LORD, please open up more eyes and ears to come to you!!!

Amazing Grace!!!

Finally, I get to meet my brothers and sisters!!! I feel so happy and sad at the same time... Sad because I can only meet them once a month... The sermon was on John 9... It's about a blind man being healed by Jesus and how he actually saw even though he was blind, but it was the Pharisees who were actually blinded even though they have visual abilities... This is how graceful and powerful God is in His salvation plan!!! FYI, I helped a blind man to cross the road while waiting for my ride to church, talk about God's timing... hahaha!!!

I just can't figure how can one live a life without Him... Even simple logic tells you that being attached too much on worldly possessions brings no good, otherwise people won't be killing each other or even themselves just because of their very own failure to achieve what they wanted... You, a folly, stop wasting your life on meaningless things!!! Your life in God's eye is much more than just a stupid Ph.D or thousands of shops that you have behind your name... He wants you to be a ruler of the world under HIM!!! A ruler!!! Not just a mere intellectual being or a business man, but a ruler!!!

And guess what... His salvation is a total free gift from Him... You don't and can't do anything to acquire it... How good is that???

So, do you see the truth??? Or are you just following blindly because your parents told you to do so, or just because it makes sense to you??? And if you see the truth, what kind of image of Jesus are you seeing??? Is it really the Jesus' version of Jesus or your own interpretation of Him???

If you're seeing Jesus based on your own interpretations, then you are no different from those religious people out there, for this is the very reason why religions were made in the 1st place, isn't it so???

It is glad to know that the whole church knows what I'm going through right now... And how impactful a minor action can make to the whole congregation, because by me attending the gathering, it is already very edifying and encouraging for them... aaaaaaaaahhhh... Thank God for using me to glorify Him in such a way, but I seriously don't want to go through this anymore... LORD, please help me get this done and over with!!!

LORD, please bless us all...

HELP...

Didn't make it to church AGAIN today!!! LORD, I really need your help to open up their eyes, not that I can go to church peacefully, but so that they will be saved!!! Please save my mom!!!

There's one thing that I really don't understand... My dad keep insulting and throwing questions at me about this matter, but I can keep quiet and not defend it... hmm...

No matter what happens... God will be glorified!!! Hallelujah!!!

Love...

I am very troubled recently... Thanks to my ungodly parents... Wonder what will happen this Sunday... Shall do my best and stand up for the gospel... LORD, please help me!!!

O God,

How great is your love,

That you sent your Son to be crucified...

What did we do to deserve such grace???

You could have just zapped us and send all of us away,

How I wish that could happen,

Though I won't want to dwell in hell,

But sometimes I just really don't know what to do anymore,

I've done my part, and it's all up to you now, LORD,

To have mercy upon them...

I pray that you will help me to open up more eyes and ears to see and hear you,

So that they will come to know how loving you are and not just merely by our own humanly definition of love...

I want to live under You, for there's no greater joy than this... Lord, please help me with this...

Perseverance...

I'm getting very sick of this stupid place already!!! Mainly because of my freaking parents!!! aaaaaahhh... He keeps thinking that whatever he knows is correct therefore he rejects Christianity because what he knows is not the whole picture(which he thinks it is)... aaaahhh... I just don't know how long can I hold this within me...

My sinful heart has always been saying 'shut up and stop talking, just die and go to hell, then you'll know what's right and wrong'... So I really thank God for the cross otherwise I'll be heading to the same place as he is... ahhhhh...

Here are the naive and vulnerable points that he brought out:

-Christianity was formed because Jesus and His disciples did stuff on their own so whatever happened, happened within themselves

-Then the scriptures were written by the 12 apostles

-Then he just asked Him 2 rise again....

-All other religions are documented as well

-History has never recorded buddhism fighting against each other but Christians fought before...

-The usual arguement of if Jesus is God why didnt he come down from the cross...

I processed all the answers in my brain as soon as he finished his 'smart' questions, but I just kept quiet, maybe it was because of my sinful nature of not wanting to share to him, or maybe I just know that he wasn't expecting answers instead he was trying to disprove the truth...

Lord please guide me!!! Thank you...

It was my day...

It was my birthday about 30 mins ago... And this will be my 1st ever post after such a long hiatus of laziness and 'busy' schedules... This is really a good year such that I've grown a lot in the gospel and by a lot it means A L-O-T!!! haha...

Never really celebrated my birthday and I didn't really bother much but I just keep getting surprised when ever people wish me with those two words and seeing those wall posts on FB just tells you that internet is just such a powerful tool... hahaha!!! Thank you to everyone for everything that you have whether you bought me a present or just greeting me with just those 2 words, it was still sufficient to make me happy...

Most importantly, thank God for bringing me up for 19 years and giving me the realization of the importance of Your existence... the major celebration I guess was that I got to see how sinful we are during the bible study just now on my birthday night!!! haha...

Thank you Lord!!!

Question for thought: is getting A really such a big issue?! why can't my parents just see the bloody bigger picture?! aaaaaaaahhh...

Lord please help me with this!!! thank you...

Travelling...

Humans are born with the desire to roam the Earth... We crawl, then walk, then run, all in an effort to move further away from where we came from, from home...

I know first hand the thrill of changing what surroundings can do for one's heart and now I also know that sometimes staying home and let others go can be its own fantastic dream... Because when you let go of something, you make room for something else entirely, something you never expected, something that makes life seem like its own unexpected adventure- a trip where new treasures are found around every old corner, where the world and all its complexities come right to your doorstep...

Because in the end, the power is not just with those who go away, but also in what they leave behind...

God bless you peeps...

Thankful & Joyful...

Went for COP during Wednesday... It was in a spastic centre that I passed by a thousand of times but never really know that place till that day... Those children there are actually very willing to learn despite their circumstances, and so I reflected on myself after that, and found out that there's just so much to be grateful for in this life!!! So you bastards please stop complaining, and try to be grateful with what you have!!! Those children are so eager to learn stuffs regardless of their age, and mind you a 14 year-old girl was just learning basic English as in standard 1 or 2!!! SO PLEASE, BE THANKFUL with what you have now, and stop whining!!!

Went to Sunway Lagoon on Thursday with Manlo, Mark, Huey Jen, Samantha, Swee Vien, Sarah and Vishal!!! It has been about 3 years since I last came here... I can still recall the times we had here with my Form 5 classmates(the best class!!!)... And this time it was also very fun!!! HAHA!!!

Played all of the games(if i'm not mistaken)... SOOOOOOOOOO FUN!!! Damn tiring but joyful... After that, had dinner at Ayam Penyet recommended by Sarah... Had fun talking crap again!!! After that, went to watch Legion with Manlo, Mark and Sulo(she came later just for the movie)... The movie was kinda nice based on a moral prospective and theological way... The ending wasn't that good but still acceptable... In the end, it is just about having faith in Him...

Hallelujah!!!

Awesome Weekend!!!

This is an update about my awesome weekend!!! haha... Had another superbly awesomely fantastically amazing weekend!!! So tiring, but it was fun & happy!!! And I managed to learn a lot of things too!!!

Was working with AMSA on Saturday as told in the previous post...

Worked in Open Day on Sunday!!! I was in charged of taking blood pressures... As I'm only a sem 1 student so I dare not use the conventional sphygmomanometer instead I used the automatic one, but I'm sure I have already mastered the manual way(hopefully)... The joy of doing something for someone and hearing them say a word of gratefulness to you is just indescribable!!! Let's hope I won't deviate from this burning desire and passion of mine in pursuing my ambition!!!

After that, tagged along Lilian's car to go to church... Her aunt joined us too... She's one funny person!!! She might be an elderly person but her mental age is definitely not much older than me!!! haha!!! It was so jolly...

The Almighty is in control of everything... God bless those in Haiti... Amen!!!

AMSA Campaign Day...

16/1/10 is the day of the AMSA thingy... So happy that it was such a great success!!! Though I wasn't in the committee but I'm always satisfied with being able to help out in things...haha!!! More over, this was a successful one!!! Although our batch were only in charge on registrations, I managed to learn quite a lot of things...

I found out that mati pucuk=ED!!! haha... I learnt that communication plays a seriously MAJOR ROLE in a doctor's career!!! Besides, the way you convey your message is the 2nd most important thing!!! As Dr. Inti from the Jinjang Clinic said, 'Medicine is an art. It's not about what you know, but how you deliver it to your patients.'... I also found out that my BM and Chinese are getting rusty!!! Though I often use Chinese when I'm with my secondary school friends, I have no idea why it just sounds so odd when I'm with my uni mates... But I definitely don't intend to brush them up...haha!!! Let it deteriorate, as long as I can still remember my basic stuffs...

After all, it was a rather tiring but awesome morning!!! Talked to a few patients to help them register and I learnt some new things from them such as PCOS- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome...

This is the best event that I ever participated in!!! haha... There were no blunders at all...

Alright... Gonna help out in open day tomorrow, which I'm sure is gonna be even more tiring than this... And I think I might be able to take BPs... Let's hope I don't screw my very 1st CSU session and definitely not in front of public!!!

God bless me to perform well and not do stupid things... Amen!!!

AMSA...

Went for some AMSA stuff yesterday in Jinjang... It's actually a campaign in collaboration with a clinic in Jinjang to provide free health screening on Saturday... Therefore, we had to distribute the flyers to the villagers yesterday...

This is definitely a better experience compared to the 1 that I participated in during Form 5 for Chong Hwa...swt... I can still recall that while we were distributing the flyers along Taman Kaya, most of the people were very reluctant and they just won't listen... We were trying to promote a talk that time and guess what... We, the volunteers ourselves were the only audience the speaker had... How saddening is that...

Back to the present, I walked a lot!!! Knocked on almost every house that I passed by and was so happy to see that they actually listen and when I reassured them to come, they actually nodded!!! Though, won't be confident that they'll attend... But it was definitely better than my previous experience!!! Had great fun man!!! Tomorrow's gonna be the day... Hope that I'll be able to learn more stuffs...

God bless this event to be successful... Thank you...

Hitch...

It is rare to actually have the chance to save someone's life... For most of us, our days are filled with small serious gestures like a place to lay your head or a beer for our thirsty friend... Then there are times when our life calls for bigger gifts whether you give a fresh start to yourself or a second chance to someone else... But in the end of the day, perhaps it is our small gestures that will add up to something big to a life saved or at least to a life bettered... Sometimes, the small things are what matters the most, as the grandest gesture can be the smallest one of all...

Was watching Hitch just now... Though I've watched it for couple of times but I'm still not bored of it because of Will Smith...haha!!! He rocks!!!

Here are 3 quotes that can make your brain work for a few seconds:

You never where you're going until you know where you have been...

Life is not the amount of breaths you take, but the MOMENTS that take your breath away...

That's what people do: they leap and pray to God that they can fly, because otherwise they'll drop and start wondering why the hell did they jump...

God bless all of you...

Expressions...

As children, we were taught to express ourselves, we were told to use our words to be specific and not to assume that others know how we feel because the truth is, it takes us saying aloud to know what we need, to know what we feel ourselves...

As adults, there are those times when words fail us... In times like this, we put our words away and show how we feel because actions speak louder than words and that saying a lot... As a matter a fact, your saying means nothing if your actions betrays you...

P/S: just some random scrapping...

God bless all of you!!!

2010...

It has almost been a week in 2010... Sorry for the super late post due to my laziness... Gosh been using those 4 alphabets very often since the start of the year!!! Crap man, gotta stop using it when class starts... Mind you, the 4 letters are L-A-Z-Y instead of what you have in your mind... lol!!!

Celebrated New Year's Eve on FB... lol!!! And then went out with Kha Tiam and Tze Hing some day after that... Celebrated Elden's birthday yesterday and went for Left 4 Dead 2 with him and Park... Zombie rampage!!! Yeah man!!! What a gory feast we had... So fun!!!

Awaiting for more outings to come... My dear phone/msn/FB chat please ring or pop something out otherwise i'm just gonna rot like a fag(as usual) at home AGAIN!!!

New Year Resolutions:

1. Work harder compared to last year(possible??? i think i kinda reached my limit last year already, oh well, giving it a shot wouldn't hurt...)

2. Make sure that I'll get into Sem 4 when I type my 1st blog post in the year 2011!!!

Guess that's all... God bless all of ya out there...!!!